


Words left unsaid

by MiaaMaay



Category: Gintama
Genre: Bottom!Gintoki, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, M/M, One Shot, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Schmoop, Smut, Top!Hijikata, they try to have a talk - you can imagine how that works out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:35:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28284840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiaaMaay/pseuds/MiaaMaay
Summary: It doesn’t feel like single-minded sex anymore. Like the simple release of stress and need had suddenly disappeared from the raven’s mind, replaced with something else entirely; something that makes the Yorozuya's skin feel hot wherever the man touches, his mind going hazy with unknown pleasure. It causes Gintoki’s heart to almost burst out his ribcage whenever Hijikata as much as glances in his direction outside the bedroom – not from lust, but something distinctly related. And, to be frank, it scares him.So, to get them back on track, away from the dangerous territory they’ve been verging on, Gintoki did the only thing plausible in a situation like this.Curse them with a heavy case of blue balls.
Relationships: Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki
Comments: 6
Kudos: 104





	Words left unsaid

Gintoki doesn’t know the exact date it started. Somewhen this summer, when the days stretched on and the nights were pleasantly warm. During one such night, their minds flying high on alcohol and bellies stuffed with delicious food, their usual banter hadn’t ended in a blurry of fists like usual but in a heated tussle against a wall in some dark back alley with their hands down each other's pants and their tongues entwined, the moon the only witness. He’s always wondered if Hijikata's come tastes like mayo, and now he has his answer.

They don’t address it. Never. Of course not. They have to save face.

During the day, they’re at each other's throats – at night however, they’re _down_ each other’s throats. It doesn’t matter where they are, they’d always find a place. Be it some seedy love hotel or shielded by trees on a patch of green with Hijikata thrusting into the tight heat that’s Gintoki’s ass. Figures that Gintoki would be on the receiving end with how pushy that guy can be when he’s horny. And oh boy, is he _horny_. So much so that they’d almost do it every single day. It’s scary how he can tell by now with just a glance if the raven is in the mood or not, and it would be Gintoki's part to subtly tell him where they’d meet up without the others noticing. It’s addicting.

And he _loves_ it.

Those piercing blue eyes filled with carnal intent as they make their way towards the Yorozuya office whenever Kagura’s having a sleepover at the Dojo’s. Strong hands leaving dark bruises on his hips while he’s being pounded into oblivion; his whole body feeling beautifully sore the day after.

It’s their little secret they keep away from prying eyes, hidden in the dark underneath the shadows of the night.

But lately, those claiming kisses and rough touches have grown soft, almost tender. At first Gintoki had thought that Hijikata was growing tired of him. However, they continued to do it whenever they could find the time, so it was obviously not that.

But Hijikata didn't stop.

Instead of getting right to it like they’ve done it countless times before, Hijikata would take his time. Peppering his neck and chest with kisses, paying special attention to his sensitive nipples or taking his sweet ass time stretching him. Not that there’s much stretching needed with his ass being in a constant state of looseness as of lately and for obvious reasons. Gintoki had even told him as much, but the idiot had simply ignored him, making him come _twice_ before seeking his own release inside his well-prepped hole.

It doesn’t feel like single-minded sex anymore. Like the simple release of stress and need had suddenly disappeared from the raven’s mind, replaced with something else entirely; something that makes the Yorozuya's skin feel hot wherever the man touches, his mind going hazy with unknown pleasure. It causes Gintoki’s heart to almost burst out his ribcage whenever Hijikata as much as glances in his direction outside the bedroom – not from lust, but something distinctly related. And, to be frank, it _scares_ him.

So, to get them back on track, away from the dangerous territory they’ve been verging on, Gintoki did the only thing plausible in a situation like this.

Curse them with a heavy case of blue balls.

It’s been almost two weeks since then, since they had had any form of intimate contact. They had still met occasionally when the Vice Commander was on patrol; with their track-record it's been predictably inevitable. But whenever Hijikata would give him that look, that silent question, Gintoki would ignore it. It'd been hilarious to watch him grow more and more frustrated to the point where he wouldn’t even meet his eyes anymore, head turned away stubbornly with his fists clenched on his sides. Whenever that would happen, Gintoki'd also ignore the sting in his own heart.

That’s why today’s the day. Two days off the two weeks mark; almost two whole weeks of abstinence. Kagura’s off to some beauty spa day with the eldest Shimura, he doesn’t have any troublesome (though badly needed) odd-jobs hanging over his head, it has even been easy enough to cross paths with the raven on one of his patrol routes today. The mayo-addicts' eyes had bulged out almost comically when he’d let it drop that he’s home alone tonight with a heavy wink in the man’s direction, getting a curious glance from Sougo in return. But he just hadn't cared then, and he doesn't care now! He’s desperate, okay? So sue him!

By the time the clock ticks 11pm, the silver-haired man isn’t so sure about his genius plan anymore. Maybe two weeks have been too much? His own balls feel like popping, but that’s also because he hadn’t even dared to wank one in the privacy of his own room because of the images of their nights spent together that his mind had conjured; not the rough, wanton ones, but rather those filled with soft whispers and lascivious promises.  
He’s even showered _twice_ today. The first to actually get clean, the second because he’d hoped the inconvenience of the situation would somehow summon the idiot like some sort of demonic ritual. But nope. He’s still waiting.

 _“How could I have possibly known…? He’s never said anything- not even when it was just the two of us… How could I have known?”_ the protagonist asks their friend over the phone, building up the drama before the main arc.

Gintoki’s laying on the sofa in the main room, trying to pass the time by watching some schmalz on TV, the plot so predictable and cheesy it almost makes him puke. By 11:30 he’s rolling from side to side, face covered with his hands as he’s positively convinced that he got ditched. But why? What’s he to do now? Maybe he’ll simply barge into the barracks and demand an answer from that uptight ass himself. But doesn’t that make him look like a clingy girlfriend? Is he a clingy girlfriend?

He groans in frustration, pulling at his hair. He stares up at the ceiling, wondering if it’s really this easy for Hijikata to not want him anymore. Maybe Hijikata’s tired of him after all, and Gintoki has only given him the last push to drop the act. 

Great, now he’s gotten from clingy girlfriend to depressed girlfriend. And in the end it's probably just something boring like his job's gotten in the way.

Gintoki sighs, rubbing one eye with his palm. Maybe he’ll get his answer one day, maybe not. It’s not like they really talk about stuff like this. About them. About what they have together. Or possibly _had._ It’s the very reason he’s in this situation in the first place. His heart clenches painfully as he gets up to get ready to bed, resigned to his fate, letting the movie roll on in the background for the time being. He’s just about to unfasten one of his belts when there’s a loud, forceful rap at the front door, causing adrenaline to rush through his body at full force. He’s dashing to the entrance and throwing open the door before he knows it, staring at the raven with wide eyes. There’s a brief pause before Gintoki finds his voice, just when Hijikata takes a quick glance over his shoulder, probably making sure that Kagura really isn’t there.

“Do you have any idea just how long-” But he’s cut off by a claiming mouth on his’ and hands on his biceps pushing him inside insistently. They’re all over each other in an instant, tugging at clothes while stumbling in the general direction of his bedroom. It’s just as anticipated – rough and aggressive, sharp teeth leaving behind swollen lips, nails leaving behind red marks, pulling them even closer together. Hijikata hits the futon hard, breath leaving his lungs for a moment. Gintoki barely gives him time to recover when he locks their lips back together, ripping open the vest and tugging the white shirt out of his tight pants. It’s then that he notices how Hijikata’s hands have stopped their roaming, remaining still at the sides of his waist. When he looks up, Hijikata turns his head to the side, eyebrows pulled down in a deep frown, obviously struggling with something in his own head.  
  
 _Nononono._ This is not how today’s supposed to go!

“What, out of batteries already?” Gintoki jokes lamely, panting slightly, too pent up to put much thought into anything wittier. Hijikata glances back at him and blows out a heavy breath like he’s made a decision. He sits up, pushing the former joui off him.

“I’m… I’m sorry. I can’t do this anymore.”

And just like that, Hijikata gets up, not meeting his eyes as he makes his way to leave. Gintoki is stunned to say the least, being left at half-mast, before all the frustration from the past few weeks – hell, _months –_ comes welling up inside of him. He lets himself flop to the side ungracefully and grabs the raven by his ankle, who as a result face-plants onto the floor.

“Oi, what the hell!” Hijikata complains while holding his nose, turning onto his side before he’s being pulled back towards the other man.

“You do realize that’s one hell of a cheesy line, y’know” Gintoki drawls while climbing on top of the man, effectively caging him with his hands on either side of his head, lips pursed. “And believe me, I’ve seen enough rom-coms today to be an expert in cheesy lines. So if you’re just playing ‘hard to get’ you can drop the act, Hijikata-kun...”

“I should be one saying this…” Hijikata growls, glaring up at the man. They hold their gazes in a test of will.

“So what, you’ve got erectile dysfunction or something?”

“No, of course not!”  
  
“Hemorrhoids? I’ve got some cream-”

“Fuck no! Wait- why do you have cream for that?!”

Gintoki sighs dramatically, letting his head droop, some of his silver locks falling into his face as a result.

“So you just don’t like me anymore, that’s it, huh? Gin-san’s _hurt_ ” he says while putting up an act as best he can, placing his free hand on his chest for additional dramatic effect. But ultimately, it’s the truth.

Hijikata stares at him like a cornered animal. “I…” he begins, searching for words, averting his eyes again. “I saw you with a woman yesterday” he eventually confesses, the tips of his ears bright red.

Well, that's _not_ what he expected to hear.

“Gin-san didn’t even see himself with a woman that day, though...” he says slowly, trying to think back to the events of that day. It’s difficult when he’s not even able to remember what he’s had for breakfast.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to tell. I won’t tell. But it’s… I can’t do this. And you shouldn’t do this while you’re in a relationship with someone else, y’know…!”  
  
Gintoki's only half listening when a sudden image of a certain woman he’s met the day before jumps to his mind.   
  
“You don’t by any chance mean that one woman in blue who all but groped me in the middle of the street in broad daylight?”

Hijikata closes his eyes and shrugs, frown still in place.

All Gintoki can do is smirk, delighted by the show in front of him, not yet grasping the meaning behind it. “Oh Hijikata-kun, confusing a petty thief with one's girlfriend while poor Gin-chan is being robbed really doesn’t suit you, Mr. policeman.”

Because that’s what’s happened. A cutie in her twenties had thrown herself all over him, almost like Sacchan would, only to find his pockets empty. Gintoki had let it happen, flirting with her in the meantime, because it’s not all day that a fairly attractive woman’s all over him. It’d been hilarious.

“A thief?” Hijikata asks, looking up in disbelief. “Who’d even think you’d even have a single yen on you?”

“Oi! I’ve carried home many riches from the pachinko parlor before, alright! _Also_ does that mean while a helpless Gin-chan was being robbed, there was an officer on duty that didn’t intervene?” Gintoki purses his lips, poking Hijikata in the cheek with a finger, a devilish grin forming on his lips shortly after. “Simply watching me while I was being molested. Say, Hijikata-kun, were you by any chance _jealous_?”

“I-” Hijikata splutters, eyes wide like he’s just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. With force he swats the man’s hand away, clearly embarrassed.

_He doesn’t deny it._

Holy guacamole. Now it’s Gintoki’s turn to get flustered. Hijikata tries to push him off again, but this time Gintoki doesn’t budge. Instead, he grabs the raven by his wrists and pins them down above his head with one hand. Hijikata keeps on struggling, but to no avail.

“Why?” Gintoki asks, voice dropping low.

Because that’s the one-million-dollar question, isn’t it? _Why?_ There’s nothing worth being jealous of, not when it comes to the ikemen right in front of him, right? Contrary to Hijikata, he’s constantly running low on money and he’s pissing the guy off on a regular basis. He’s only got his witty tongue and good looks working for him, which coincidentally happen to be the two main reasons they’re constantly clashing (the second one being Gintoki’s own wishful thinking). Though it’s probably only Gintoki who’s grown to enjoy that part of their relationship. Is it weird? That he’s deliberately trying to get under the man’s skin just to keep his attention? And as of lately, even without the constant banter, when they’re simply enjoying their meal side by side at some street vendor or rant about some random topic they’d agree on for once – it’s been _nice._ But it’s impossible that Hijikata thinks the same way, right? _Right?_ Feelings Gintoki's kept tied up and buried in a deep hole below are suddenly swelling up like Hades had just released the seal to free the Titans, threatening to overwhelm him.

Hijikata looks at him, clear-blue eyes roaming over his features in search of _something,_ but Gintoki keeps his face perfectly neutral. The Vice Commander presses his lips into a thin line before averting his eyes once more like it’s a sport, a slight blush creeping up to his cheeks.

“It’s not like I intended for this to happen…” he grumbles abashedly.

“So Gin-san’s ass is just that good, huh? To even melt the ice inside the Demon Vice Commander heart, who would’ve guessed” Gintoki jokes, keeping up the facade while there’s a clenching pain in his chest and his inner self is running around in circles, screaming. He’s at loss what to do here; he can feel his own heartbeat pulsing at the side of his neck, can hear the rush of blood in his ears.

“It’s not-” Hijikata cuts himself off, huffing out a breath in frustration. Gritting his teeth, Hijikata frees himself with new-found strength only to flip them over, pinning Gintoki to the ground this time, effectively switching positions. “Would you believe me when I said that I actually came to enjoy whatever comes _before_ we do it?! Yes, you're a constant pain in the ass, but even so it’s-! ... it’s been nice, okay! For some ridiculous reason I came to enjoy our time together, even without the sex!”

The words alone isn’t what leaves Gintoki speechless, staring up at him with wide eyes and mouth slightly ajar, but the guilt written all over Hijikata’s face. Like it’s something he’s not allowed to do – allowed to _feel_ – a dark, sinful secret being uncovered against his will. Like Gintoki would resent him for this. And, to be fair, he can’t really blame him. The urge to just laugh it off is strong, sitting on the tip of his tongue, waiting to be released, but Gintoki swallows it down for once, tasting the bitter tang of hypocrisy it’s soaked in.

Hijikata sighs in defeat when Gintoki doesn’t answer, letting his head hang in shame. “I know this isn’t what you want, or what _this_ is", he spits out bitterly. “So, if you could just do what you must – insult me, hit me, I don’t care. Just get it over with so I can leave. I won’t tell anyone, if that helps...”

So, this whole thing was just a huge, roundabout confession, wasn’t it? Gintoki wipes his flushed face with a hand, letting it run through his hair while he tries to sort out his thoughts. And _boy_ is his head a mess. He still doesn’t know what the idiot sees in him, but he also can’t deny that yes, it’s been fucking _nice._ Even before they started fucking like rabbits.

“You jealous idiot”, Gintoki mutters, voice laced with frustration that's directed at the idiot above him as well as himself. “Thick-headed homo!” He knows his insult might be slightly redundant, but it’s not like he’s thinking _straight_ right now!

Just like announced, Hijikata simply endures it, resolutely keeping his face turned away.

“Coward!” Gintoki punches him in the chest, making the man above him wince. “You should at least ask me out for dinner, don’t you think?!” Gintoki pouts.

Even though he wants to be angry, that it all could’ve ended right then and there if Gintoki hadn’t stopped him from leaving, that Hijikata didn’t even think about asking him – he really can’t. Because he’s just at fault here, isn’t he, stuck in the very same honey trap he’s laid out. Just a coward like Hijikata is when it comes down to them, down to what _this_ is between them, or the potential that lies with it.

Hijikata’s head snaps back around in an instant, staring down at him, confused but hopeful. Gintoki rubs the side of his neck bashfully, another wave of heat tinting his cheeks red; it’s his turn to avert his eyes.

“If you want to claim my ass, isn’t it common courtesy to do that first?”

“C-Common-” Hijikata splutters, their faces matching in color, and continues in barely a whisper, “you would- You would go on a date with me…?”

“Argh, don’t say such embarrassing things!” Gintoki exclaims, pulling at his own hair in sheer embarrassment while Hijikata shifts backwards and sits down on the floor with Gintoki’s legs splayed over his thighs.

“You said it first!”

“I didn’t say the d-word, now did I!”

“As if that really makes a difference!”

They glare at each other without much heat, the question still hanging heavily in the room. But it’s not like Gintoki can simply say _yes._ Well, he could, but he won't.

“I’ll decide where we’ll be going, you got me?” Gintoki says, it's the closest he can get to accepting the offer. Hijikata helps him up when he waves a hand in his direction, bringing them back to the same eye level. He’s feeling like a teenager again, like he’s about to get his very first kiss, and Hijikata doesn’t look much better. But the silver-haired samurai can tell that there’s _still_ something on the chain-smoker’s mind with how he keeps on shifting uncomfortably. It only takes mere seconds before Hijikata finally spills it out.

“So... why did you avoid me?”

Oh, right. That. Somehow that little detail has faded into the background during all this, and it’s Gintoki who’s feeling trapped now. He shrugs his shoulders, still embarrassed, somehow feeling like a complete moron right now. The truth would probably only drive Hijikata away again, and… and he doesn’t want that. His plan of getting them back to simply being friends with benefits – the friends-part also being quite stretched – has backfired and they somehow ended up knit closer together than ever before.

“Gin-san just wanted to get fucked into the ground, y’know, ‘just wanted to add some spice...” he mumbles eventually, at least telling one half of the truth.

He hears the chain-smoker inhale sharply before strong arms are being wrapped around his midsection to pull him further into the raven’s lap. Gintoki laces his arms around the man’s shoulders for support, and his heart makes a little somersault when he notices that lascivious gleam in Hijikata’s eyes, telling him that they’re slowly headed back in the direction this whole spiel was supposed to lead to. The air around them is growing hot, the tension between them changing it’s tone. The TV that’s been long forgotten is a constant, white noise in the background, the only sound besides their mingling breaths.  
  
 _“With all the things we’ve been through, do you still think of us as mere friends? Have I not made it clear enough what you mean to me?”_

There’s still a load of shit they haven’t addressed; hell, it’s not like they’ve really sorted out a single thing even now. Only that they maybe sorta like each other in more than just the dick-up-the-ass way? And Hijikata was just being jelly? And Gintoki is most likely an idiot – but he’s done talking, and his heart needs a rest, damnit!

“Sooo… Will you fuck me now or what...?” Gintoki prompts, playing coy while twirling the short hairs of the back of his neck around one finger. And Hijikata doesn’t have to be asked twice. Those strong arms around him tighten, pressing them flush together, before Hijikata’s surging forward, locking their lips together in a desperate kiss, and it feels like the best fucking thing in the world. Gintoki is quick to reciprocate and Hijikata groans when he presses his tongue between his lips. He can taste the nicotine on it as their tongues dance and twirl around each other, his hands disappearing into the unfairly silky-smooth hair, holding him in place while he devours the Vice Commander’s mouth hungrily like a starved man. And he is – only now realizing how much he’s missed those surprisingly soft lips and demanding tongue, the sharp nips on his lower lip. When they eventually separate it’s only in dire need of air, filling their lungs with heavy pants, barely enough before they’re diving in once again.

Hijikata rolls them over and back onto the futon, pressing the silver-haired samurai into the soft underground with his muscular frame, caging him in, though the perm head doesn't feel the urge to escape this time. Gintoki lets his hands roam once more, through the jet-black strands, down the man's neck and chest, sneaking them underneath the white dress shirt, following the line of his spine up his smooth back. They lose themselves in each other’s touches, yearning for the much-needed skin-on-skin contact. 

“Fuck, I’ve been waiting for this…!” Gintoki pants in between, growling in annoyance at the sheer endless amount of buttons on the shirt that’s keeping him from touching more of the warm skin hidden beneath. Screwing the guy in his Shinsengumi uniform might be one of his newer kinks, but actually getting him out of it is more like an unskippable mini-game. And oh, don’t try and cheat! He’s once ripped it open when his patience has run out, buttons flying in all directions, and Hijikata hasn’t let him live it down for a month or so.  
But to his delight (or dismay, depending how you see it), Hijikata seems to have a similar problem with the many belts his own attire brings with.

“You were the idiot who thought this was a good idea in the first place!” Hijikata comments, glaring at the last belt that just won’t come undone, no matter how hard he tugs on it.

“I’ll allow you to send me into the Shadow Realm if I ever think not having your dick inside me for so long is a good idea again…!”

With the final button finally coming free he lets out a triumphant huff, helping the still struggling Hijikata with his inadvertent chastity belt. It’s pure bliss when it’s only the flimsy cloth of their boxer shorts separating them as Hijikata grinds down, bringing their straining erections together; a pattern of tiny bottles of mayonnaise meeting the one of adorable little strawberries. Gintoki doesn’t hold back – he throws his head back as the friction elicits a moan out of both men. He wraps his legs around the raven’s hips to keep him right there, grinding up to seek even more of the delicious jolts of pleasure. Hijikata’s mouth is everywhere; on his neck, his collarbone, leaving behind a trail of red hickeys before he’s sucking on his sensitive nipples while another hand teases the other. Gintoki all but mewls when he feels teeth on the skin of his nub, tugging slightly while a hot tongue teases the tip.

Precum is leaving behind a wet spot in his boxers, and he fears the 100% non-synthetic cotton material won’t hold up much longer with how fucking _hard_ he is. Using his current leverage he has with his legs around the man’s hips, he flips them again, getting a surprised gasp in return. Capturing Hijikata’s lips with his own, he fumbles for the lube he’s got laid out and ready from beside the futon. One of Hijikata’s hands sneaks down his side and under the elastic band of his underwear in the meantime, grabbing a handful of his plump butt before a finger dives down the cleft of his ass to rub over his hole. Teasing and prodding, making Gintoki sigh and arch his back as it sinks in smoothly.

“Have you-” Hijikata mumbles against his lips, looking at the Yorozuya quizzically.

“I came _prepared"_ he explains while wiggling his eyebrows.

With the bottle of lube in hand Gintoki slides down, grabbing the elastic band of the man's ridiculous boxer shots and slides them off in one swift movement, throwing them somewhere off to the side like they’ve personally offended him.

And there it is- hot, colored an angry red and curved towards his bellybutton; so perfect that it’s making Gintoki actually salivate at the sight. Licking his lips, he can’t help but bow down and lick along the hot length, tongue flattening against the silky-smooth skin, holding it in position with one hand while he tastes the salty tang along the throbbing vein. Hijikata groans above him, a hand burying itself into his white locks while his hips are bucking up instinctively and Gintoki has to hold them down using most of his weight because the guy has absolutely no self-restraint whenever Gintoki as much as looks in the direction of his dick. And he can’t help but smirk at the shaky breaths and desperate moans coming from the oh-so proud Vice Commander as soon as he swallows him down in one go, the tip hitting the back of his throat. Closing his eyes, he concentrates on breathing, the heavy weight on his tongue, the soft curls against his nose together with the earthy musk that comes along with it. When he hollows his cheeks and lifts his head back up painfully slow, he can feel the quivering thighs against his sides where he’s lying in between, blunt nails digging into his scalp, making him groan around the length in his mouth. He only gets in two or three bobs of his head before he lets go with an audible _pop,_ his own ass clenching around nothing in eager anticipation. He just can’t wait anymore.

Opening the cap of the lube, he pours a generous amount of it on his waiting hand, not even patient enough to warm it properly before coating Hijikata's dick in it, spreading it sloppily. Hijikata hisses but keeps his mouth shut, watching his every move with lust-filled eyes. Gintoki crawls back over him, letting his own boxer shorts drop to the side while he kneels on either side of his upper body. Hijikata’s palms are scorching hot but more than welcome sliding up and down his thighs, their chests heaving, and eyes locked as Gintoki sinks down all the way, guiding him inside with one hand. A string of curses leaves the raven’s mouth along with a strained moan that mirrors that of Gintoki’s. But the silver-haired samurai doesn’t wait, doesn’t need the time to adjust. He’s been waiting for this all day, all fucking _week,_ and the pure, raw need coursing through him can’t be suppressed anymore.

He starts moving in an instant, up and down, rolling his hips as he does so, chasing the blinding pleasure that comes with every fall. Fuck this guy for thinking he’s got a girlfriend on the side, fuck this guy for being so goddamn irresistible, fuck this guy for actually _wanting_ him, and for him wanting this stupid, jealous mayo freak in return. Each time their hips meet, Gintoki can feel the muscles under his fingertips tense where he’s braced on the man's chest while he moves with abandon. He knows he’s making all sorts of noises, but he doesn’t care, doesn’t even hear them over the rush of blood in his ears.

Suddenly Hijikata’s mouth is back on his, swallowing down the wanton sounds bubbling out of him uncontrollably. Gintoki clings to him when he starts meeting each of his thrusts, Hijikata's fingers digging into the skin of his hips painfully but it only fuels the fire inside him while their bodies glide together like two pieces of the same puzzle. It’s rough and filled with unrestrained want; it’s exactly what Gintoki hoped for but also _so much more._ It’s the first time that he lets himself go completely, mind going blank as he's being swallowed whole by pure bliss. There’s no need to preserve that extra bit of distance between them anymore, no need to not let Hijikata know just how much he enjoys their time together. And by how frantic the other man’s thrusts have become, Gintoki guesses he feels the same. The muscles in his thighs are burning from exertion, his own erection trapped between them, the friction not enough – he’s so close already, _so close._ He whines against the man’s lips, nipping and biting demandingly, breathing Hijikata’s name in between, letting him know that he needs just a bit more, just a single nudge.

In a blink of an eye he finds himself back on his back, staring up at those fierce orbs as Hijikata grabs him by his hips in a bruising grip and _slams_ inside, knocking the breath out of him.

“Fuck yes…!” Gintoki keens, throwing his head back as the room is filled with the sinful sound of skin hitting skin over and over again. He can’t do much more than hold on, digging his nails into the flesh of Hijikata’s shoulders as his whole body jolts with each snap of his hips.

It doesn’t take long before the tight, hot knot in his abdomen finally unravels, and he’s coming untouched, mouth hanging open as pure, undulated pleasure engulfs him. He can feel Hijikata pulse inside him as he stills after one, final thrust, coming deep inside, and it has Gintoki tighten his legs around the man, keeping him right there. Hijikata collapses half on top of him but the perm head doesn’t mind the weight, raking his fingers through the messy, black strands while they ride out their heights entangled in each other's arms, trying to calm down their breaths.

Gintoki sighs contentedly, eyes closed, feeling absolutely fantastic. His whole body is thrumming with residual pleasure, and if sex wouldn’t be this messy, he’d gladly fall asleep right then and there. Hijikata is nuzzling the side of his face, causing Gintoki to peek at him curiously. There’s still a lingering flush to the raven’s face, his V-shaped bangs sticking to his forehead, damp with sweat and blue orbs directed at him. Gintoki turns his head fully, the tips of their noses brushing lightly as they simply stare into the depths of each other’s eyes.

This is new, and it feels like a strangely delicate moment. Usually, Hijikata would already have a cigarette lit by now while Gintoki would be trying to muster up the strength to be the first to take a shower. But there’s none of that right now. They just keep their gazes locked, fleeting words coming and passing by, left unsaid. When Hijikata leans closer in a silent question, Gintoki lets him, eyes fluttering shut as he accepts the tender brush of his lips against his own, barely touching, simply moving them together without deepening it further for what feels like hours. It has his heart throbbing in his chest with a long forgotten-feeling, and he can’t deny that he knows exactly what it is.

Untangling himself, Gintoki pushes Hijikata off with probably a bit too much force.

“Oi- What-!”

“You reek!” Gintoki grunts, the only excuse coming to his mind as he throws his pillow at the guy, hitting him square in the face and effectively shutting him up mid-protest.

Getting up and turning his back to him, his face is feeling way too hot. Fuck. He shouldn’t let the idiot do whatever he wants – he’s not ready to be a shounen _-ai_ protagonist stuck in a cheesy plot line and overromanticized relationship drama! This is still Gintama!

He’s just about to round the corner with a steaming hot bath in mind, not bothering to cover himself up for the short trip, when he notices that a certain someone isn’t following. Stopping short just at the threshold to the adjacent room, he glances over his shoulder to see Hijikata clearly being unsure as to what to do with himself, the pillow now residing in his lap.

Gintoki snorts bemused. Yeah, he’s the one in charge here, not this guy.

“You coming or what…?” he asks, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

Hijikata stares up at him clearly flustered, grumbling under his breath about stupid sugar freaks or something before he gets up and follows him but not before putting his shorts back on.

 _“I love you…”_ the voice coming from the TV speaks into the deserted room while the bathroom door is being shut behind them with a soft click, the drama that Gintoki started watching earlier now finally nearing its end, _“and you’ll notice it not only when I say it, but every time I look at you, kiss you, touch you. Words are not the only way to show you how I truly feel, and I’ll find new ones each day until there is not a smidge of doubt left in you that I, with all my heart, love you.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas, hun!
> 
> I hope I didn't kill you with second-hand embarrassment! It was fun to write all the same, haha!  
> I'm stoked to hear from you and what you think about it! I just love some good ol' fluff, though those idiots make it quite the challenge!  
> I also feel like their facebook status would never leave the "it's complicated" status (But who uses facebook anymore)
> 
> I hope it's still hit the mark, and since they won't for the love of god just say these three words, I had someone else say it for them ~
> 
> Stay safe today, and don't let the pandemic be the only memorable event today!
> 
> Love you lots, Mia
> 
> \---
> 
> You can say hi on [twitter](https://twitter.com/miaamaay_) or even spend me a coffee on [KoFi](https://ko-fi.com/miaamaay) (Though really, only if you want, I'm not expecting anything!)


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